Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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