Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
