Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
