Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
