I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
3pm strippers are depressing
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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