the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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