Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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