Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
