I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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