Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
