haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
