Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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