i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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