She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
