Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize