She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
they need to just BURY HIM!
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
