Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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