Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
