Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
