your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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