I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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