I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
