Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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