btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
