Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize
