coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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