Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
