My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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