I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
