they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize