There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
and you fell through a lawn chair
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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