so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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