omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
