from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
