no, he came in my armpit
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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