you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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