So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There's always time for handjobs
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
