i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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