I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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