I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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