Already got asked if we're dating
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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