somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
