As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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