Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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