Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
