would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
