I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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