So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
