Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
