Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
