You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
