I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
