Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
