Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
