Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
