we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
