i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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