A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Randomize
